Suffering with Jesus

Right now my team and I are partnering with a church in Kigali, Rwanda. I have been learning a lot about suffering and uniting my cross with Jesus’ cross. The other day I had a profound encounter with Christ through image based prayer and I wanted to share it with you! 

I can feel the hot sun blaze on my skin as Jesus and I carry our crosses towards Calvary. The weight of my cross seems to get heavier with every step we take. How is that possible? 

As I look ahead I see how much we have left— we haven’t even started our ascent yet. My muscles ache and my cross digs into the skin on my back. The weight of the wood is becoming too much to bear. My pace slows.  And, my breathing turns into frantic gasps as I try to fill my lungs with oxygen. 

I look ahead and see Jesus carrying His cross. His pace hasn’t slowed. He’s barely sweating. He makes carrying the cross look easy. It doesn’t even look like He’s suffering. 

I give into my screaming muscles and stop. I need to rest and recollect myself if I’m going to make it to the top. In between gasps I wipe the beads of sweat off my forehead as Doubts swirl through my mind. 

I look up and see that Jesus stopped with me. I make eye contact with Him and it feels like the world has stopped. In this moment, I can feel the many emotions that flood His heart. The pain. The empathy. The sorrow. The love. The admiration. 

In this stillness I notice that His breath has deepened too. I notice that sweat is dripping down the sides of His face. I notice that His shoulders have been torn open from His cross. This journey is challenging and painful for Him too. 

In between gasps He whispers, “I wish I could just carry yours for you, but we need to make this journey together.” 

“I can’t do it… I’m not strong enough,” my eyes fill with tears as the words escape from my lips. 

Christ closes the gap between us and stretches out His hand to brush the tears off my face. Then, He places His hand under my chin and slowly lifts it up so that I am looking Him in the eyes. A wave of peace washes over me.  

Then He says, “I wouldn’t ask you to make this journey if you were unable to do it. 

When you’re muscles ache— rely on Me.
When you’re convinced of the lie that you can’t do it anymore— rely on Me. 
When the weight is unbearable— rely on Me. 

We are stronger together.”

I smile as I feel energy return to my exhausted body. 

And we start our journey again. 

As we continue to celebrate Lent, I encourage you to not wish away the trials you are experiencing. It’s easy to look forward to the Resurrection, and we should look forward to it, but we should not wish away the hardships that lead up to Calvary. Through our pain and suffering we are able to encounter Christ intimately and experience a fraction of what He went through during His Passion.